


The Ship In The Forest

by FujurPreux



Category: Gravity Falls, Transformers: Prime
Genre: Crossover, Epistolary, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-02
Updated: 2016-09-02
Packaged: 2018-08-12 16:30:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,412
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7941409
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FujurPreux/pseuds/FujurPreux
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Soos writes a letter to Dipper and Mabel about his close encounter of the fifth kind with a grumpy giant alien robot. Because it turned out that the forest where Airachnid crashed her ship was Gravity Falls. Who knew.<br/>Post canon for both series.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Ship In The Forest

Dear Dipper and Mabel,

How is everything in California? I know you're doing just fine! I just want the details. Me? I'm working real hard to keep the legacy of the Mystery Man going! (Can you believe it? It's already a legacy! Isn't that exciting?)

Anyway, as a way to fulfill my duties, I've been looking for more material to display in the Shack, scouring through the darkest, deepest parts of the forest. Oh, don't worry about me. I make sure to always bring a sandwich and a bottle of sunscreen! And this is what I wanted to write to you about. No, no the sandwich—although it was delicious—nor the sunscreen—although it leaves me smelling nice and with an interesting purplish tint!

But okay, I'll get to the point.

A couple of weeks ago, I used the golf car to go to a previously unexplored part of the forest. There, I found—

(Please, picture me making a pause for effect while using the counter and two spoons for a drum roll.)

—an alien ship!

I know, right! 

(Here, I am picturing your amazed faces.)

It's huge! So big the giant robot we turned the Mystery Shack into to fight Bill can fit inside! You do remember that, don't you? It was so epic not to. (This is foreshadowing, by the way. The robot part, not Bill. He's still stone, don't worry. Didn't mean to scare you with that.)

Back to the ship. The expert eye I developed in my time as a repairman told me it had gone through a lot. Besides the obvious crashlanding. Further inspection of the zone made clear that it had suffered an explosion. Not that long ago, either. No recent footprints either. But maybe some aliens can fly. Or float. Who knows. Besides them, I mean.

A few things occurred to me then. One, that there was a chance for me to meet new friends—always a good thing. Two, that I had the chance to establish a promising partnership if I played my cards right (I've been reading Stan's books, can you tell?). And three, I hoped they hadn't arrived when the Weirdmageddon happened. What an embarrassing first impression of this beautiful town, don't you think?

I took a deep breath, straightened my fez and knocked in the closest hole, taking care not to cut my hand with all the bent, sharp metal. I got no reply. Then, I called and, again, nothing. I decided to wait outside just in case. To avoid being rude. At that point, I ate my sandwich. As night approached, and with no aliens in sight, I went back home. Not only did I have to wake up early the next day to open the Shack for business. It was getting cold and I didn't bring a blanket. A terrible oversight on my part, I know.

I did my best to return the next days at different times to see if I could find anyone. But nothing. After several days, I got convinced that no one lived there. It was then, and only then, that I decided on what any Mystery Man worth its salt should do: go inside and take back as much as I could while leaving behind a receipt with a detailed description of the take object to avoid confusion. For that, I attached a shopping cart to the golf one, where I put all the receipts I printed. I expected to return with all kind of strange, mysterious objects that traveled from beyond the starts so they could now be in front of your eyes! Well, the tourists' eyes, but you get me. And yes, I thought of that tag line all by myself. Point is that I was just excited than morning that all the other times I went to the ship. How could I not, really?

Once at the site, I went inside the ship through the closest open hole. It was dark, which made me glad I thought of bringing the hat with the LED lights Mabel made for me after the incident in the bunker (thanks again for that, Mabel. It's been very useful.)

The hall of the ship was an unsafe mess, with enormous and sharp pieces of glass everywhere, fallen in front of big metal cylinders, with occasional splotches of suspicious-looking goo here and there. Not a place I would want you to be, kids. Not before a good cleaning.

I was looking, a pen on my ear and a handful of receipts in my hand, when I heard a series of loud noises from the other side of the ship. _Plank plank plank!_ I freaked out. The one day I didn't wait outside! Luckily, I hadn't taken anything yet. So, with my conscience more clear than not, I hid behind one of the cylinders and waited as the noises approached.

And then…

_There it was!_

You won't believe it, but the foreshadowing I mentioned earlier? This is when it comes into play. 

The one making all the noise was a real, true-to-life _GIANT ROBOT FROM OUTER SPACE!_ All orange and white and so huge! I immediately pictured myself sitting on his shoulder while we valiantly fought crime all over the galaxy. I plan to draw us like that later; I'll make sure to send you a copy.

Even now, though, I can't hold back my squee thinking about it. Imagine how much I couldn't back then—and that was how he found me.

"What—what are you doing here?" he asked, in a grumpy, old voice that reminded me of Stan.

I knew it right then: I was in good hands. Good, enormous, metallic hands.

I must've been squeeing for longer than I intended, because he said, again, just like Stan would, "Will you stop that? It's making me nervous."

"Okay!" I said with the last gush of air from my squee. Since it came out in a very low voice, I repeated it louder. I couldn't stop grinning, too. "I'm Soos! Nice to meet you, Mr. Giant Space Alien Robot!" But then I frowned and scratched my chin. "That's a mouthful… Can I call you Robot Stan?"

"My name is Ratchet," he replied, with a sigh and after a groan.

"Ah! Cool! And easy to remember! Hello, Ratchet!" I offered my hand for a handshake.

Instead of leaning down and taking it, he leaned backwards. A lot of people do that with me. I do wonder why, sometimes.

"You need to leave," Ratchet said. "It's not safe."

"Now?"

"Yes. _Now._ "

I must've made a face as sad as the saddest kitten, because he sighed again and the next thing he said sounded less grumpy. 

"This whole area is dangerous. The whole—forest, according to our reports."

"Oh, that? It's okay. Everyone around here knows it," I said, and it was true. This is Gravity Falls, after all. "If that's a problem, you shouldn't be on your own here either. Unless you're not, I mean." I looked around as I said that. Maybe Ratchet had a partner already. If not another giant robot, then a lucky human who already sat on his shoulder and fought crime with him. I wondered if they'd let me take a picture of them during a battle.

"I'm perfectly capable of taking care of myself," Ratchet said. "And I refuse to do any babysitting during this mission."

"I can take care of myself too!" I didn't tell him about Bill just yet; bragging about how I played an important part on the defeat of an interdimensional demon would have to wait until we were close enough to share anecdotes. "You don't have to babysit me. I just wanted to take a look around for some souvenirs I can bring back to the Mystery Shack. Tourists will pay a fortune to see them! Of course, I plan to leave a document with instructions on how to get your part of the money," I added, offering him one of the blank receipts.

He didn't take it.

" _Tourists_? What do you mean, tourists? Do you intend to exhibit Cybertronian technology for profit?" He didn't say it, but the 'how dare you' was clear in his voice.

"Wow. I take it back. You're not Robot Stan! You're Robot Mirrorverse-Stan!"

Ratchet groaned again and hit his face with the palm of his hand. "Just go."

"Huh…" I reluctantly eyed the hole I came in from, playing with the receipts between my hands. "Can I take a picture of you?"

" _No._ "

"Just asking… How about I leave you my phone number? In case you need anything or something. Wait. Do you even have a phone?"

Ratchet thought about it for a moment. "I do have access to a telephone line."

That made me smile. So I gave him my number.

He probably wrote it down in a text file inside his system, because he didn't have pen nor paper and he just nodded. Then, he stared at me. It took me a moment to understand what he meant.

It made me sad again.

"I'll be waiting for your call," I told him and I walked away from the ship. The hardest thing I've ever done in my life.

Before you worry too much, no. This isn't the end of the story but a mere setback. You know, like when the hero gets to the belly of the whale in Campbell's Hero's Journey.

Thus, I made it only as far as the golf cart before I heard the steps of a giant robot behind me. It sent a shiver down my spine as I turned around to see him. Dude, I honestly wished you'd been there! He looked even more gorgeous under the sunlight that filtered through the tree tops, even with all the bumps in his metal covered. I imagined those came from glorious intergalactic battles—because making that kind of robot doing menial work would be a disgrace. 

"Wait!" Ratchet said as he stopped right behind me, one hand extended as if he tried to pick me up but didn't dare.

I tried not to immediately reply, 'Yes, take me to your leader.' You know, to maintain some dignity—even if I know I couldn't keep the stars out of my eyes. So I settled with a simple and neutral and professional, "Yes? How may I help you?"

"Have you told anyone about the ship?"

"Not really."

"Do you know if anyone else knows about it?"

"Hmm. It's kinda hard to track who knows what around here. We're very good at pretending nothing happens, even without the memory gun around."

"…memory gun," he murmured. Then, he shook his head. "No. I don't want to know."

"Are you sure? It's an adventure involving a shady secret society. Although, granted, I've had others more exciting! With shapeshifters of possible alien origin in secret underground bunkers, or living dinosaurs in an underground cave. And those are only two examples."

"Shapeshifters of alien origin?"

"Possibly."

Ratchet looked back at the ship he'd been in and scratched his chin, frowning. "It is possible that Airachnid caught one before coming to Earth. I still have to go over the database throughly. Where is that creature now?"

"Frozen in the underground bunker I mentioned. I have pictures! Although it got locked in a particularly creepy form I'm not eager to look at again." Not exaggerating there at all. 

"And the dinosaurs… Did they look robotic in any way?"

"Nope. Not at all. Believe me, I would've noticed. Specially with them trying to eat Waddles."

"But we are so far away from Maine," Ratchet mused, folding his arms. "It pains me to admit it, but I may need your guidance after all."

"Really?" I exclaimed. 

"Close your mouth, young man," Ratchet said, and I did because he said it just like Abuelita. "I still need to discuss things with some people. Wait for my call. Don't talk about this to anyone. _And don't take anything from the ship._ "

I nodded. "Yes! I mean! No! I won't! You have my word! I'll be waiting!"

As you can guess, I'm sending this letter after I got that call. But anyway, Ratchet then summoned a green portal. "Fine, then. I guess I'll see you later."

He started to walk away just when I remembered there was something else I wanted to ask.

I bounced with my hand up in the air. "Ratchet! Wait! I have one question."

He stopped and turned around. "What is it?"

"How can you sigh? You're a robot. You're not supposed to have lungs, are you?"

"I have a complex ventilation system," Ratchet replied as he sighed once more. "Is that all?"

"No, but it'll do for now."

He snorted in an—I'm willing to bet on it— an amused way. He was back to be Stan-like. 

"Goodbye, then," he said.

"Goodbye," I repeated, joyful tears in my eyes. I'm proud of myself for holding them back for so long.

Long story short, I got his call the next day and I got to show Ratchet's team around town. There are more humans and less robots than I anticipated, too. And it turns out that Ratchet can transform into an ambulance. Can you believe it? I can't wait for you to meet them all. Which is why I'm writing you this letter, by the way.

I told them how important both sets of Pine twins were to keep Gravity Falls safe, so Mabel, Dipper, get ready for a government agent to knock on your door. I think they're going to start looking for Stan and Ford too. But don't worry. Unlike the other ones who came to town before, you can trust them. They have my seal of approval, after all! 

Well, that's all I have to say for now. Hope to see you soon, guys. 

Missing you lots and sending all his love,

Soos.

P.S My seal of approval is a picture of me with both thumbs up and a speech balloon that says, 'You can trust this guy!' You'll know it when you see it.

P.P.S. Don't tell Stan I found his giant alien robot double. I want to do it myself.

P.P.P.S. I'm sending you some ideas for the uniforms we'll have to use now as part of an intergalactic team. It's the rules. Please, send back your comments.

Okay! I'm all done now! Bye!


End file.
